Last week we looked at Jesus’ strategy for disciplemaking and laid out that his primary model was helping his disciples find people of peace. You can read it here.

Now that you know how to identify a person of peace, the next question is: how do you actually move the relationship forward?

This is where most people get stuck. They find someone open to faith, but they

don't know how to navigate the journey from casual friendship to spiritual conversations to actual discipleship.

The answer lies in understanding what is called the Conversation Quadrant (a term coined by Paul and David Watson).

Understanding the Four Types of Conversations

This diagram helps to explain it

There are four distinct types of conversations:

Casual Conversations(Surface, Non-Spiritual) These are the everyday chats. The weather. Where you're from. The age of your kids (if you have any). How work is going. Do you have a dog (in my case 😂). These conversations are important because they build familiarity and comfort. But they're not deep.

Meaningful Conversations(Deep, Non-Spiritual) These are where you start sharing vulnerably. You talk about your stresses, your struggles, your passions, your dreams. You share about your family challenges, your career concerns, your hopes for the future. These conversations build trust and intimacy. People begin to see you as real, not just a friendly acquaintance and in turn share meaningfully themselves.

Spiritual Conversations(Deep, Spiritual) These are where you start talking about God. You share your 15 second testimony appropriately. You talk about how faith has shaped you. You ask about their spiritual background. You share what Jesus means to you. You offer to pray for situations they are facing and see how they respond. These conversations open the door to faith exploration.

Discovery Conversations(Spiritual, Collaborative) Here you share how stories from the bible have helped you when facing situations similar to the ones they are facing. “when I faced something like that I read this story ...” You ask what stands out to them from the story. If the conversation goes well then you invite them into a discovery conversation with you. These conversations move someone from curiosity to actual discipleship.

The Natural Flow

Here's the key insight: the goal is movement. Casual to Meaningful to Spiritual to Discovery.

Each stage builds on the previous one. You can't skip steps. If you try to jump from casual conversations straight to spiritual conversations, people feel blindsided. If you move from spiritual conversations directly to inviting them to church or a Bible study without building meaningful relationship first, they often pull back.

Think about it this way: would you share your deepest struggles with someone you've only made small talk with? Probably not. But if you've had several meaningful conversations where they've shared vulnerably with you, and you've shared vulnerably with them, then yes. You'd be open to going deeper.

The same is true spiritually. People need to trust you before they're ready to explore faith with you.

How to Navigate Each Stage

Start Where People Are (Casual)Don't try to force depth. When you first connect with someone, keep it light. Ask about their weekend. Chat about work. Build familiarity. This isn't wasting time; it's laying the foundation.

Listen and Ask Questions to Move Toward MeaningfulAs you spend time together, start asking deeper questions. "How are you really doing?" "What's been on your mind lately?" "What matters most to you right now?" “Is this your dream job or is it a stepping stone to something?” (NOT in front of their boss!!) When they share something personal, listen well and share something personal back. This reciprocal vulnerability builds trust.

Share Your Story Naturally to Open Spiritual ConversationsWhen you've built enough trust through meaningful conversations, start naturally weaving your faith into your sharing. "I was going through something similar, and what really helped me was..." or "That reminds me of something I've learned through ..." You're not forcing it; you're being authentic about what shapes you.

Invite to Discover Scripture Together When the Time is RightOnly when someone is showing genuine spiritual interest should you invite them to explore the Bible together. And when you do, make it collaborative. "I've been reading this story, and I'd love to hear what you think about it." Not "Let me teach you about the Bible."

Recognizing When Someone is Ready to Move Forward

How do you know when it's time to move to the next stage? Look for these signs:

They're asking deeper questions about meaning, purpose, or faith. They're initiating conversations about spiritual topics. They're sharing vulnerably with you about their struggles and fears. They're showing genuine spiritual hunger. They're asking about your faith or what you believe.

When you see these signs, it's an invitation to go deeper.

The Time Factor

Here's what I want to emphasize: give people the time they need.

Don't confuse a person of peace with someone ready for discipleship. A person of peace is someone open to you and your message. But that doesn't mean they're ready to commit to a Bible study or church attendance next week.

Some people move through these stages in weeks. Others (more often in the West) need months. Your job isn't to rush the process. Your job is to be faithful. To show up. To listen. To share authentically. To let the Holy Spirit do the work of conviction and transformation.

Remember my stat from last week: When I ask people, 40-50% of people can identify a person of peace, but only a few feel they've given them enough time. That tells me we're good at finding people of peace but terrible at staying with them. That would certainly be the story of my spiritual life over the last 30 years.

Don't be that person. Be the friend who sticks around. Who keeps showing up. Who gives people the time and space to move from casual friendship to meaningful relationship to spiritual exploration to actual faith.

That's how people of peace become disciples. And that's how disciples become multiplying disciples.

Your Assignment

Here's your challenge:

Identify one person of peace in your life right now. Someone who shows signs of the WOOLY acronym. Someone whose heart seems open.

Now ask yourself: Where are they on the Conversation Quadrant? Are you still in casual conversations? Meaningful? Have you started spiritual conversations?

Whatever stage you're in, commit to moving them forward one step. Not two steps. One step.

If you're in casual conversations, have one meaningful conversation this week. If you're in meaningful conversations, share something about your faith naturally. If you're in spiritual conversations, invite them to explore Scripture with you.

One step. That's all.

And remember: your imperfect faithfulness is more valuable than your perfect strategy.

Let’s go make disciples!

Simon